The thoughts of a tired teacher set in, while we work day in and day out to repeat the same things like an endless broken record that wants you to remember what I am saying, so I'll say it again.. and again... and again...
"What do we do as soon as we get this passage?" "How are you going to show your work?" Where are your paragraph numbers next to each question?" "Did you preview?" "Did you write down your thoughts as you read?" "Show me the text clues for that answer." "Did you eliminate the 2 answer choices that don't make sense?" "What did I just tell you to do?" "Where is your text evidence?" "Did you go back to the passage like you were supposed to?" "Where is your text evidence?" "What should you be asking yourself for this question?" "WHERE IS YOUR TEXT EVIDENCE??" "Focus." "Stop talking about that." "Get back to work." "Read it again with your groups." "Read it again."
Where, oh where, has the energy and patience gone? Well, it's probably waiting for us to pick it back up during those summer months that we are looking ahead to.
In the meantime, there's much to accomplish and much that is expected before those delightful summer days come.
This quote brings me back to past teaching years when the hard work has paid off at the end of the school year. Thinking about students that grew, gained integrity, and became little human beings with a different outlook on school or what life should be- that's worth it. Getting an email from a parent talking about how well their child is doing as they transitioned to the next grade level- that's worth it. The one child that begins making better decisions for themselves while they're in your classroom and under your influence- that's worth it. A child that might not have passed the STAAR, but made significant improvements on the test from the year before- that's worth it. Gaining confidence and being proud of what they learned- that's worth it.
As summer approaches, I always tend to forget how much the kids need us, especially at this time of the year! They are just as tired as we are. They are still dealing with emotional stress in homes or whatever struggles that they carry from home to school each day. School is supposed to be their safe place: a place where they are loved, encouraged, sought out, and appreciated... but it becomes a place where the stress is built higher because of this strenuous testing time. I have to watch myself and the way I react to the way they deal with the stress, countless quiet hours of sitting in desks, and trying to maintain the high expectations of teachers (ME!).
The way I talk to them becomes the way they talk to themselves as they sit for those countless quiet hours in their desks stressing over the answer choices. Is the broken record, self-talk working? I don't know, but I think trying to make them pass a test is missing the point. I am missing the point. Maybe it's time to take a step back, breathe, and focus on what the students are doing right rather than what they are doing wrong or what they are forgetting every time they miss a question.
I mean, just today I was getting on to students for not returning their tutoring note. I can honestly say that several of those children have parents who could care less about their education or might just be caught up in other things. AND here I am, blaming them for something they had no control over. Why? Because I am allowing a test to be too "big." I am forgetting the influence I have on their lives. Now I have to ask the hard question, is this influence becoming something positive or negative to these children?
I remember my first year of teaching and saying to myself, "I will quit teaching before I become the hard, mean teacher: the teacher that makes students feel bad about themselves." Here it is 5 years later... What makes us insensitive to the student's needs so quickly?
So here it is.. It's time to make my students believe that there is MORE than what this test does to them, to all of us. There is a reason for the tests, yes, but it doesn't define you. All you can do is your best. At the end of the day, that's all I can ask of you, right? There's better things to come than spending an entire year preparing for a test that seems so impossible to some students. How can I expect for you to pass something that seems unreachable??...
OR... Maybe I should ask,
How can I make you believe that it IS reachable? All you have to do is try. Improvement is reachable. Tell yourself you can. Tell yourself that you will. Don't give up. Let's not make this about pass or fail. Let's work together to get the best out of you: the best kind of leadership, the best kind of role model for your family, the best kind of responsibility, the best kind of thinking skills, the best kind of ownership, the best kind of character...... If we can achieve THAT.... think about the things these children will accomplish and even what they will do for us on a test.
The students that walk in my room need to know that I am for them, that I believe in them, and that I care about them. No one would work hard for someone that is against them. We can help students believe in better things, right? We can help them overcome inner/outer struggles faced on a daily basis. More importantly, we can help students believe in themselves... right?
It's up to us to continue fighting the good fight for students.
More than anything.. I needed this reminder.. We are all right there together: tired, impatient, and wearing thin. In the end, things have a way of working themselves out. Somehow, it always does.
