I recently read a blog post about the word "blessed." (The link is below.) What does this word truly mean and when/how often does our generation misuse it? If I were being honest, I have thrown this word around so frivolously during times of abundance just as the author describes in her post... "We've created a culture in which we measure God's 'blessings' in terms of dollars and cents, comfort and pleasure, wealth and well-being. So, if we're happy and healthy and have everything we need, then we're blessed, and we should thank God on social media. We tend to ignore the secondary message this sends to those who are unhappy or unhealthy, or for whom things are just generally crappy." This comment genuinely captured my attention and thoughts throughout the past couple of weeks. For one, although the author makes a valid argument, I do not view the recognition towards God for "happy" blessings as pervasively negative as the author makes "blessed" Americans seem. However, there are many justifiable statements. For example, "You would never come across a status update that says, 'Feeling lost and alone. I wonder if God is even listening. #PoorInSpirit #Blessed.'" If we were being truthful, how often do we genuinely feel this way?
With this couples' permission... I write about them, to them, and for them:
A few weeks ago, the author's blog hit me right in the face as Tyler and I attended a funeral. A couple, whom we've befriended through indoor/outdoor soccer games, had to lay their baby boy to rest. A little background: the mother, Whitney, and father, Adam, received news of their baby (at 20ish weeks expecting) having potter's syndrome. This is a rare syndrome where the baby's kidneys do not form. Without kidneys, there is no amniotic fluid. Amniotic fluid aids in the development of vital organs, particularly the lungs. Without drastic intervention, which can be dangerous to the mother, the condition is 100% fatal, and the health of the baby is still not guaranteed. Research shows that this syndrome takes place in about 1 in 10,000 babies. Adam and Whitney knew that their baby would not live for very long, that is, if baby Z were even born alive. There were risks involved with Whitney's health, along with doctors persuading the family towards aborting the baby.
Adam and Whitney displayed incredible strength, confidence, integrity, determination, and certainty that something "good" will come out of their heartbreaking situation. While many hearts were hurting for this couple and the tragedy yet to come, Adam and Whitney were dealing. By "dealing," I mean praying, living to their full potential, seeking organ donation advice, attending countless doctors visits, and staying optimistic through the struggle. Whitney was always open and willing to discuss the ever-pressing issue with hope sustained in the Lord and confidence that her baby would bring joy to another family through the liver enzyme donations. Adam and Whitney chose to carry baby Z to term, and surely enough, their baby lived for 31 beautifully cherished minutes in his mother's arms on November 5.
At the funeral, Adam's words spoke truth and authenticity to the crowd. There was a sincere sadness to his tone, yet his speech was gripping and eloquent. He applauded his wife and talked about the charming mother she is and will be.. how she is a woman clothed in every trait he could possibly desire and how he saw the most perfect kind of dignity displayed in her throughout the pregnancy. Towards the end of his speech, one of the last things he declared was, "we truly consider ourselves blessed." Blessed! Blessed? BLESSED!? Oh the thoughts that were racing through my mind... And then I remembered the words from the blog below. The author states, "blessed does not mean pleased. Blessed does not mean happy. Blessed does not mean fulfilled. It doesn't even mean fed or clothed or housed or healthy... What it really means is that you are not alone, for God is with you."
When I think of you, Adam and Whitney, I think of this verse: “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8. I think of the courage you've displayed and the hope you've given to those who have or will endure the tragedy of loosing a child. You were and are "bearing fruit" without even realizing it. I'm amazed by your faith and generosity. More than that, I am challenged to view your suffering through a different lens.
So thank you, Adam and Whitney, for being a couple who has not bathed yourself in a sea of anger, bitterness, and wrath. You are a couple that is loved by many, admired by many, appreciated by many, treasured, thought of in high respect, cherished, adored, favored, delighted in, and the list goes on and on. The bond you've created between a husband and wife, and the way you've walked with Jesus is just about as inspiring as it gets. Your experience has brought pain, but greater than that, it has brought you a satisfying peace, gratitude, and hope that cannot be obtained in this world. Thank you for being a couple whom we genuinely look up to in more ways than you know. Your influence on the people around you is unbelievably fascinating and impressing. I feel that you have displayed, walked courageously, and drenched yourself in the power of "blessed assurance..." as the hymn sings.
... And... Conclusively... The most powerful statement of all, "He holds you. He sees you. He loves you. And He is with you. For you, indeed, are #blessed." -Jamie
